How To Move On From a Haunting Ex
Bumble’s expert Shan Boodram weighs in with special tips.
Spooky season is here and there’s nothing spookier than an ex who just doesn’t get the hint. From watching your story when you’re no contact to commenting under your pictures like everything’s normal, this dating trend is called “haunting.” To help you clear the coast, Bumble‘s in-house expert Shan Boodram shares a few tips.
According to Bumble, more than half of its users struggle with exes haunting — specifically 56%. “This behavior can create emotional turbulence that makes it harder to move forward. Haunting your ex or even being haunted by your ex may keep you trapped in the past, preventing emotional healing and growth, which makes it difficult to build the healthy, trusting foundation necessary for any new relationship to thrive.”
Boodram says, “If you’re being haunted, remember that you’re in control of your digital boundaries.” Thankfully social media has features like muting, blocking and restricting accounts that help you “create a healthy distance without the finality of blocking. Think of it as creating a boundary – you’re not shutting the door completely, but you’re deciding who gets to peek through the window and when.”
Most importantly, “resist the urge to check their profiles.” Cutting this social connection will allow you to be your most authentic self without masking, or “being extra careful to put your very best self forward at every moment.” People often do this to seem as though they’re better off, but if you truly were, you wouldn’t have to obsess over how you’re perceived. Boodram closes: “Use this time to rediscover and showcase your genuine self rather than curating posts with your ex in mind.”
While you’re here, explore our Halloween movie watch list.
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