Ask a (S)expert: "What's Sexual Self-Care?"
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“What’s sexual self-care?”
Hey bae! Great question for so many reasons. Often when people think of self-care and respect, they assume it can’t coincide with sex. After all, society teaches us that self-respect can only be shown in conservative ways, for example, abstaining. However, self-care and self-respect should reflect your true needs and desires. So, whether you choose to abstain or dabble in casual sex, you’re exercising your right to choose. There’s obviously more to this so let’s dive right in!
Sexual self-care is just as it sounds: caring for yourself, but most importantly considering your sexuality. When self-care conversations began to dominate during the pandemic, they were mainly related to mental wellness. But as we soon learned, sexuality is important to consider, too. It seems like a no-brainer now, but as discussed above, sex is considered taboo which doesn’t leave room for much authentic expression.
View this post on Instagram
There are a few things you can do to practice self-care. A great way to start is by creating a sexual wellness routine. For example, making sure you masturbate weekly for stress relief — with a good partnered f-ck every so often to get physical touch in. This was a major key for many women like myself following the overturning of Roe v. Wade, which took away our reproductive rights.
However, you can prioritize whatever your heart desires. A key element of sexual self-care, though, is getting tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections. If you’re sexually active, this allows you to not only protect yourself, but your partner(s), too.
Need more advice? Here are a few more ways you can practice sexual self-care.
Journal
Daily meditation and journaling are great methods for staying in tune with your desires. For your first journaling sesh, ask yourself: “Do I feel empowered during sex?” And see where your mind takes you.
Exercise regularly
If you’ve been struggling with low sex drive or desire, you know how important working out is. We know, bummer. But exercising has a host of benefits for your sex life like increasing blood flow, which can result in more intense orgasms. It also enhances stamina making positions like cowgirl, much more satisfying. Lastly, working out also helps connect you with your body and boost self-confidence.
Get tested regularly and explore birth control
Following the 2022 overturning of Roe v. Wade, many vagina owners increased their birth control methods. This is very important right now. From IUDs to condoms, there are still options available so talk to your gynecologist about what your options are and put them into practice.
Practice healthy sex talk
You’ve heard me say it a million times: communication is key. Whether you’re eager to try toys with your partner or practicing celibacy for the first time, being able to effectively and respectfully talk about sex is essential. Own your desires and communicate them, give partners space to do the same and always honor each other’s boundaries.
Prioritize rest
I know, shocker! Sleep is essential, not just for mental health but pleasure too. Research finds that insufficient sleep can result in a lack of sexual desire so make sure you’re prioritizing a full night’s rest.
In other news, check out our interview with Climax Books’ Isabella Burley.
Share this article
