Nightlife Producer Venus Cuffs on How to Practice BDSM Safely
Nightlife Producer Venus Cuffs on How to Practice BDSM Safely
The host of NYC’s favorite kink parties opens up about living the kink lifestyle, creating safe spaces and reshaping relationships.
Trigger warning: This article contains mentions of sexual assault.
For many, a kink lifestyle seems exciting or enticing, but potentially far from reach. But for Venus Cuffs, award-winning nightlife producer and former dominatrix, it’s a way of life. In the final episode of Servin’ Sex, Venus shares her insight on producing NYC’s favorite kink parties, aka play parties, the tea behind domme-ing your faves and the healing nature of BDSM.
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There are many misconceptions when it comes to kink and BDSM, but the biggest one of all is that “everyone just thinks I hate men,” she tells Gigi Fong. “Femme dom’s in general, we [must] hate men because we want to dominate them. Men don’t get that. If a man wants to spank a woman he’s seen as a ‘big dog’… A man can walk around with five girls on his arm and he’s the man, he’s Player of the Year. If I want to do the same thing. I’m a whore. I’m a slut.”
In reality, Venus’ work goes much deeper than just an adult playground. Inspired by her former career as a dungeon dominatrix and a layered history of sexual healing, Venus produces trauma-informed safe spaces for people to both heal and play. Whether you’d like to be spanked for the first time or are getting reacquainted with the idea of being touched after assault, she takes pride in fostering others’ sexual healing.
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From proud kinksters to queer adults seeking to find community, she dommes them all. Even those who stereotypically hate women, you know, the red v. blue pill lovers, are some of her top clientele. Venus has no issue bringing one’s fantasy to life, but can one truly ever have a safe space to indulge? Her answer to this may surprise you.
This marks the final episode of this first season of Servin’ Sex, but there are six other episodes on hypebae.com/radio to enjoy if you’ve not tuned in already. The episodes are available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts. If you have any feedback on the podcast, or ideas for future seasons – topics or guests – we’d love to hear from you! Drop a comment below or on our Instagram post. In the meantime, send in your intimate inquiries to be answered by our (S)expert, Gigi Fong.
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Explore Venus Cuffs events on her website.
This interview has been condensed for clarity.
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